While the postmodern condition can lead us to a pessimistic perspective regarding the overwhelming challenges we face, there is also reason for optimism. As I noted previously, there is good reason to be believe that people will develop fewer and deeper relationships with our population growing increasingly older (the “graying” of our society):
. . . it appears that the decade of their fifties, for most [of the people in the study], is a time when the need for a few significant relationships becomes critical. Solid friendships deepen over the years. By the time we reach our fifties, we treasure those friendships that have lasted a long time. . . . These one-to-one intimates help to give us the inner strength and comfort that we desperately need in our fifties if we are to be growth-oriented and generative.
We may soon be talking less about the overwhelmed or minimal self, and more about the selective self. We may be talking and writing about people who are discerning in their relationships—in the way in which they present themselves to the world (Quad One), in what they disclose to other people (Quad Three), and how they choose to live in each of the four subsystems. The selective self will find time for reflection on the choices one must make in life—often establishing or finding a sanctuary in which this “on-shore” rather than “white water” reflection can occur. We can only speculate at this point as to whether the selective self is just a pipe dream or a viable image of the future for a “graying” society.
