Hypothetical examples of dreamers addressing Focal Conflicts: What might a focal conflict hypothetically look like and how might it relate to the two hypothetical sub-focal conflicts I have already described? The dreamer who is struggling with the issue of recognition in their work group might find that this sub-focal conflict points to a deeper and more primitive (early life) struggle with recognition in their own family of origin. They might have been the middle child who believes (and feels) that they are always overlooked. Instead, they might be the youngest child who is never taken seriously. Even in their 20s and 30s they are labeled “the kid” by other members of their immediate (and even extended) family. As a child, they were stomping their feet and crying out loud that “no one listens to me!” or “I am not a baby!”
As an adult, this person is still seeking recognition and finds that their childhood “tantrums” were both embarrassing and somehow “justified.” This is a focal conflict that might be represented in their dreams as a muzzle placed over their mouth, or, more subtly, as a theatrical production in which their role is minimal or abruptly cut out of the play. Perhaps, their focal conflict is portrayed in more archetypal form as a battle between two large monsters. Much as in the role played by Fay Wray in the original King Kong movie, our dreamer must hide behind a rock and watch the battle being waged by these two powerful forces. One final version of dream content that might be portraying the focal conflict: there could be an elaborate action-sequence in which the dreamer takes on a Paul Revere type role by racing around their community warning of the impending attack of some alien force (perhaps represented by some folks at the dreamer’s workplace or from the dreamer’s adolescence). No one is listening to the dreamer. The dreamer gets desperate and is shouting (and even crying) much like they did in childhood.
How might these representations in the dream help the dreamer resolve their focal conflict regarding recognition? Perhaps, the dreamer takes off the muzzle and finds out what happens to them or they write their own play and feature themselves as the main character. Does anyone come to the play? The dreamer step away from the rock and tells the two monsters to quit fighting or to go home and behave themselves. Do the monsters agree or do they join together and gnaw on our dreamer. Perhaps our Paul Revere dreamer elicits assistance from someone else in their community would has credibility. Instead, our dreamer might simply leave this community and let its ignoring residents fend for themselves when the aliens attack.
It is all about acting rather than freezing in place and dithering. It is about discovering what happens when this action is taken. There might be dithering before the action is taken. The muzzle is taken off and then put back on. The play is on and then it is off. The Fay Wray figure might step out from the rock and then return to the rock. The Paul Revere character hops on and of the horse. Finally, the Dithering turns to action. The dreamer might decide to be courageous and risk-taking. As French and Fromm note, while substitution can move a dreamer away from their focal conflict, it can also provide time for the dreamer to envision a more productive, ego-driven form of substitution. The dreamer is substituting action for inaction and substituting active engagement in change for passive acceptance of the conflict as unresolvable. Fay Wray acts, as does Paul Revere and the playwright.
What about the dreamer who finds in their sub-focal conflict an ongoing struggle with their spouse about finances? They have been swaying on the tightrope (this might be a form of dithering)—but have been able to lower it and step down from the tightrope with assistance of a friend. Nice resolution of this sub-focal conflict. However, there is still a lingering sense that all is not resolved. The financially based conflict with their spouse ends up being a substitute for the focal conflict. The spousal conflict might even serve as a delay from dealing with the “real” issue. The dreamer and their spouse might see a marital therapist—but find that this isn’t the complete answer. They both decide to seek out individual therapy after recognizing in their couples’ session that something “deeper” is taking place for both of them. Their marital conflict is substituting for and delaying their recognition of more fundamental personal issues that might result from childhood experiences.
