In essence, regret is a negative feeling about that which could have existed in the past or, as in the case of Ingrid Bergman, that which could exist in the future. Like melancholic and the other emotions I have identified, regret begins in the realm of nothingness. Our regrets are based on that which did not exist in the past or in the future. While melancholia is concerned with lost objects, people or ideas, regret is concerned with actions taken or not taken.
As Gilbert has suggested, regret is a very powerful emotion. Some research in the field of behavioral economics suggests that regret might be even more motivating than either the hope of success or the fear of loss. While there have been many psychological theories about the nature and power of regret, that offered by behavioral economists seem to be most complete and convincing. One of the most prominent of these behavioral economists, Daniel Kahneman (2011, p. 345), provides the following introduction to the psychology of regret:
“Regret is an emotion, and it is also a punishment that we administer to ourselves. The fear of regret is a factor in many of the decisions that people make (“Don’t do this, you will regret it” is a common warning), and the actual experience of regret is familiar. The emotional state . . . [of regret is] accompanied by feelings that one should have known better, by a sinking feeling, by thoughts about the mistake one has made and the opportunities lost, by a tendency. to kick oneself and to correct one’s mistake, and by wanting to undo the event and to get a second chance. . . Intense regret is what you experience when you can most easily imagine yourself doing something other than what you did.”
Much as in the case of melancholia, Kahneman has identified the self-punishing nature of regret. We blame ourselves for action taken or not taken. Regret is a powerful emotion precisely because we wish to avoid this state of self-punishment.
At this point, Kahneman (2011, p. 346) offers an important insight: “Regret is one of the counterfactual emotions that are triggered, by the availability of alternatives.to reality.” I would suggest that this status of “counter-factual” can be applied to virtually all the emotions being considered in this essay. When confronted with the void, we are tempted to fill it with “counter-facts.” Perhaps the anxiety associated with nothingness is worse than the potential regret that arises when conceiving of actions that could go wrong.
Humphrey Bogart might have been much less supportive of Ingrid as she decides whether to join Victor on the plane if he had said: “Well Ingrid, it is really up to you. We certainly don’t know much about what will occur in your future. There probably isn’t one good choice that you can make. Either choice will probably lead to pain.” Humphrey might instead have waxed a bit poetic and declared that Love inevitably leads to regret. And regret inevitably leads to loss. I suspect that this poetic expression would prove to be of little help to Ingrid. She would have stood there a bit baffled, probably anxious, and perhaps a bit angry at Humphrey for being uncaring and useless.
