Kahneman identifies two major regret-related dynamics. One of these dynamics is operating when one is confronted with major risk. Kahneman (2011, p. 349) identifies this dynamic as the asymmetry of choice. When risk is involved, there is often a bias toward a conservative rather than an “unconventional” course of action:
“The asymmetry in the risk of regret favors conventional and risk-averse choices. The bias appears in many contexts. Consumers who are reminded that they may feel regret as a result of their choices show an increased preference for conventional options, favoring brand names over generics. . . . Even life-or-death decisions can be affected. Imagine a physician with a gravely ill patient. One treatment fits the normal standard of care; another is unusual. The physician has some reason to believe that the unconventional treatment improves the patient’s chances; but the evidence is inconclusive. The physician who prescribes the unusual treatment faces a substantial risk of regret, blame, and perhaps litigation. In hind-sight, it will be easier to imagine the normal choice; the abnormal choice will be easy to undo. True, a good outcome will contribute to the reputation of the physician who dared, but the potential benefit is smaller than the potential cost because success is generally a more normal outcome than is failure.”
The second dynamic concerns what Kahneman (2011, p. 408) identifies as the two selves in which we operate: “The two selves are the experiencing self, which does the living, and the remembering self, which keeps score and makes the choices”. Kahneman finds that the conflict existing between these two selves can be quite problematic as we journey through our life. When it comes to regret, the remembering self is likely to prevail:
“. . . [C]onsider the common admonition, “Don’t do it, you will regret it.” The advice sounds wise because anticipated regret is the verdict of the remembering self and we are inclined to accept such judgments as final and conclusive. We should not forget; however, that the perspective of the remembering self is not always correct. An objective observer . . .with the interests of the experiencing self in mind, might well offer different advice. The remembering self’s neglect of duration [how long an emotional reaction such as regret is likely to linger], its exaggerated emphasis on peaks and ends, and its susceptibility to hindsight combine to yield distorted reflection of our actual experience.”
It is in the experiencing self that we confront time as the ultimate finite resource. There is only the immediate moment. The past and future are in a state of nothingness. By contrast, the remembering self does not acknowledge this reality regarding time. There is ample content (real and fictional) in both our past and our future. There is an ultimately unlimited quantity of time for the remembering self. Furthermore, there is short duration time and long duration time.
Regret is built for a long duration. As Humphrey Bogart declared while gazing longingly at Ingrid, “if that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with [Victor], you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But soon and for the rest of your life.” While in the short term, Ingrid might find greater joy in remaining with Humphrey, it is in the long term that she will feel lingering, painful regret. The immediate experiencing self might want to continue embracing Humphrey.
And the theater audience certainly wants the movie to end with Humphrey kissing Ingrid and both of them flying off to safety in America. This impulsive wish is embedded in what Kahneman calls “System 1”. However, the remembering self wins out. A potentially unwarranted assumption of the remembered self reigns supreme. As the remembering self projects into the future, it believes that Ingrid will eventually grow to love Victor once again. The audience might leave disappointed that their immediate System 1 desire is unfulfilled; however, their thoughtful mind (what Kahneman identifies as System 2) will leave the theater with enriched insights about regrets in their own life.
