Insofar as men and women are serving in generative roles when working with other people, with an organization, or with their community during senior years, they are likely to be more inclined than ever before to exert authority in a collaborative and nurturing manner. Collective Worth requires a spirit of interdependence. And as they teach and mentor, Generativity Four men and women are also willing to take less credit and be less visible as they age. They have already acquired whatever power and recognition they are likely to get in their lives. They have had their “day in the sun.” These men and women now gain more gratification from watching their organizational, communal, or cultural “children” succeed than from succeeding themselves. They have shifted from a primary focus on their own success to a focus on significance—making a difference in the world. They care deeply. Collective Worth has truly taken precedence over Personal Worth
Choices to Make
We have choices to make. Do we choose generativity or stagnation? Do we undertake the risk of teaching and learning? Or do we accept the status quo and refuse to take a risk? When we are stagnant rather than generative, we continue to do the same old thing. We settle for mediocrity, allowing our dreams and personal aspirations to wither away. We come to resent and even block the ideas and achievements of younger people. We dwell on the past while abandoning the future. Typically, stagnation sets in because we are afraid of change. For some reason, we don’t believe we can keep up with the next generation. To secure some sense of stability and safety, we are willing to sacrifice any sense of Personal Worth or participate in any activity that generates Collective Worth.
There is a somewhat different dynamic operating in the lives of many people that requires a difficult choice. In my work as a coach and consultant, I find that my clients often speak of personal fears associated with confiscated dreams of the future. They have sacrificed to realize personal aspirations and to fulfill dreams about family, career, and even retirement. What happens to so many during late midlife? They no longer have a future, for the future is right now. They have lost their aspiring horizon and must now either savor the present day or create new plans for the future. A new future, accompanied by new sources of Personal Worth and Collective Worth, requires that we engage in new generative processes in one or more of the four modes. New project? New forms of mentoring? Honoring heritage for the first time or in a different way? Engaging in community projects for the first time or in a new way? What do I do next in my life?
Alternatively, we can choose to live primarily in our past, preoccupied with old dreams. We look at old scrapbooks of our children rather than visiting them as adults. We get our retirement watch at work and look forward to retreating from demanding involvement with other folks at work. We are not the generative guardians that Vaillant identified. Instead, we are regressive defenders of a past that sometimes never really existed. We don’t want the past to be incorporated into the present. Our community doesn’t need us, because we are getting old and don’t have the energy anymore to be of assistance to other people. We find a way to retreat into a rabbit hole that leads us to a distorted world of Serenity (Bergquist, 2025). This is a world of stagnation.
