The “new rage” is based on an opportunity for a first or second chance at being a caring caregiver. And it is also grounded in a newly evolving opportunity to be a vital, healthy adult who is likely to live many years and savor numerous chances to be a high-quality grandparent and even great grandparent. Apparently, a new model is emerging based on the theme of vital grand parenting. An AARP Bulletin featured the actress, Jane Seymour, being a “glamourous 63-year-old who wears the label ‘grandmother’ proudly.” (Graham, 2014, p. 10). In this article, the author declares that boomer women can redefine their role in contemporary society. We label this “rebooting” as the continuing role of Generativity One caregiving throughout our adult lives:
“It’s a whole new form of grand parenting . . . thanks to the boomers. That 76 million-strong cohort has redefined just about everything it has touched, from childhood and adolescence to careerism and parenting—and, now, grand parenting as well. Boomer women in particular, who came of age during the feminist movement, have tended to shrug off traditional roles, opting instead to “have it all” – balancing jobs, hobbies and a supermom style of parenting that would have exhausted their own full-time mothers. So it’s not surprising that as their children have kids, these new grandmas are remaking the role in ways that differ dramatically from the nanas, nonnas, bubbes, amas and abuelas of yesteryear.” [Graham, 2014, p. 10]
Similar narratives have been offered by a diverse set of notable women, ranging from Hillary Clinton to Whoopi Goldberg and Leslie Stahl. These women serve as additional exemplars of the ways in which Generativity One operates throughout our adult lives. Generativity One continues to play an important role for many of us, even as we grow older and engage the other three roles of generativity. Our sense of Personal Worth is still attached to the role of parent.
Men also have the opportunity to “reboot” their role as grandparents, especially given the proclivity of mature men to become more interpersonally oriented during mid-life. One of the men we interviewed for the Sage project talked about the rebooting in his own life. As a former university president, he is now playing games with his grandkids. This is a lovely and loving experience for both grandpa and grandkids. And what a healing moment this is for the former university president. During the interview, he recounted that he never had the opportunity as a child to play with his own father. I suspect that he never had time to play with his own son, given his demanding role as a hard-working and accomplished leader of a large and very traditional organization.
We find that generative grand parenting is not just a source of renewal for the grandparent and a frequent source of great joy for the grandchild; it is also sometimes a source of much needed support for the parent who is in trouble, who is trying to hold down a job as a single parent, or who simply could use a healing hand in a world that makes many demands on a young parent’s life. While in many societies the extended family is common, with grandparents living with or nearby their children and grandchildren, this kind of “automatic” and socially sanctioned support is much less common in contemporary Western societies. Family systems tend to be much more disengaged, and it is fortunate to even have two parents living together with their children. The assisting grandparent can be a real “godsend.”
