I find that in my own work with Asian organizations located in Taiwan, Singapore, or Indonesia that the pull toward interpersonal engagement was quite strong. Evenings are often spent entertaining customers or “celebrating” with co-workers. Family life is often reserved for the weekends. I find my work in these Extraverted societies to be exhausting for me as an Introvert. I often had to inform my clients that I needed some time off and that banquets every evening were quite thoughtful but not in the best interests of an organization that needs a fresh and focused consultant or trainer on the following morning.
While I am sure that Introverts live and work in these Extraverted societies, their mask is likely to be particularly thick and there may be many masks covering other masks. I actually have been closely acquainted with some strong Introverts in Asia and have had wonderful (and often quite candid) conversations with them regarding how they navigate an interpersonal-pulling world. It tends to begin with a sustained smile (friendly face) and head nods (Laney, 2002, p. 174). It follows in Asian society (and in Western society) with gestures of acknowledgement and appreciation (such as a tipping of the teacup or wine glass to a colleague during a banquet). Marti Laney (2002, p. 171) aligns with this tactic when she writes about “acting as if” we care about what is happening all around us.
Laney (2002, p. 170) also writes of a “sea anemone” tactic. Like an anemone, we find a place to sit and anchor ourselves rather than roaming around the room. We let other people come to us rather than reaching out to them. “Reactive” sociability is the key—in contrast to the “proactive” sociability of Extraverts (Schutz, 1994). I know that I sometimes operate like an anemone. I suspect that my Introverted Asian colleagues also engage this anchoring strategy. What I do know is that my Asian Introverts are truly skillful actors. They need to be skillful if they are to be successful in business or more generally in life.
Conclusions
In sum, it seems that Jung’s two personality types do have an important impact on the nature, extent and type of relationships that are being engaged. Introverts are likely to be very selective in their choice of other people with whom to establish a relationship. There has to be a very good reason to engage in either a transactional or autotelic relationship. For the introvert a transactional relationship is likely to be engaged if the project in which both people are involved is compelling. An autotelic relationship is engaged by an Introvert when it holds the potential of being deep and enduring.
Unlike the Introvert, an Extravert will tend to welcome and even seek out relationships. They have a large contact list or in 21st Century life and can speak proudly of having assembled a large “network.” They view a large email and texting list as well as an impressive number of linkages to be a sign of success. The prospect of a transactional relationship being attractive to someone who is an Extravert revolves around the potential for action and achievement. An autotelic relationship will be attractive to an Extravert if the other person appears to be interesting. They offer something new and different. The potential is there for an exciting (even unpredictable) relationship.
