It seems that we are truly “wired-in” to be social animals (Aronson, 2018) and are unlikely to survive individually or collectively when left alone. This conclusion is certainly to be found in many sociological and psychological analyses of loneliness—to which I now turn.
A Sociological Perspective I: David Riesman
I focus first on the sociological analysis of loneliness offered by David Riesman (1950/1961) in The Lonely Crowd. I begin with Riesman’s seventy years ago analysis not only because it was one of the most influential sociological analyses of the 20th Century but also because Riesman offers a particularly intriguing – even perplexing—analysis of loneliness. I begin by identifying the three basic orientations offered by Riesman. There is first a “traditional orientation” in which the identity of an individual in a particular society is subsumed under the identity of their tribe or society. A young member of the tribe quickly becomes attuned to the etiquette of the tribe and is fully aware of age, clan and status differences in the society where they dwell (Riesman, 1950/1961, p. 11) They are truly fish living in water. These young traditionalists are unaware of their own water (traditions)—knowing no others.
In my own presentation regarding Theory A (Bergquist, 2021) I devote considerable attention to the traditional orientation to be found in many African societies. In many cases, an individual member of a tribe is only allowed to claim and assert their individual identity in their late teenage years and early twenties. Furthermore, this individuality is only allowed if they have been faithfully observing all of the traditions and ceremonies of the tribe during the early years of their life. Loneliness does not seem to exist for members of a traditional society (which is saturated with Gemeinschaft and enmeshment). However, this escape from loneliness seems to come at the expense of any personal freedom or any societal change.
The other two orientations are those for which Riesman is most noted. They are “inner directed” and “outer directed.” We can turn first to the outer-directed orientation. On the surface, one would assume that this orientation yields a life of right engagement rather than loneliness. Here is Riesman’s (1950/1961, p. 21) own summary description of this orientation:
“What is common to all the other-directed people is that their contemporaries are the source of direction for the individual-either those known to him or those with whom he is indirectly acquainted through friends and through the mass media. This source is of course “internalized: in the sense that dependance on it for guidance in life is implanted early. The goals toward with the other-directed person strives shift with that guidance: it is only the process of striving itself and the process of paying close attention to the signals from others that remain unaltered throughout life.”
One can conclude from this description that the outer-directed person is actively participating in life outside themselves. They establish a life-long sensitivity to the thoughts and needs of other people. How could they ever be lonely leading this relationship-rich life. Yet, it is not quite this simple.
