An Existential Perspective
So, the verdict is not yet in with regard to the outcomes of loneliness. While many psychologists conclude from the accumulated evidence that loneliness hurts, there is a somewhat different case to be made about the impact of being alone. There is a third perspective that offers a quite different set of outcomes regarding loneliness. It is in alignment with the comments about health and alone time that were made by Cacioppo and Patrick. This is the existential perspective.
This third perspective evolved in post-World War II Europe. It was formulated particularly in the writings of Jean Paul Sartre (1993). The existential perspective gained a strong foothold in 1960s America and was associated in particular with the humanistic writings of Rollo May (1969), Abraham Maslow (1998) and at an earlier time, Erich Fromm (1955) 21st Century representation of this perspective is to be found in positive psychology as represented in the writings of Martin Seligman (Seligman, 1991; Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi, 2000) and those offering the perspective of appreciative inquiry (Cooperrider, 1990; Cooperrider and Whitney, 2005). We find it clearly articulated in the earlier book about loneliness written by Clark Moustakas (1961).
Condition of Life
Moustakas (1961, ix) offers this summary of his existential (and humanistic) premise: “. . . loneliness is a condition of human life, an experience of being human which enables the individual to sustain, extend, and deepen his humanity.” He begins his exploration of loneliness by moving directly into one of the great challenges associated with this condition—that being the attending to people we love who are in distress and struggling to remain alive. Moustakas (1961, p. 7) writes this about these challenging conditions:
“In such experiences [confronting and nurturing another person’s illness and impending death], inevitably one is cut off from human companionship. But experiencing a solitary state gives the individual the opportunity to draw upon untouched capacities and resources and to realize himself in an entirely unique manner. It can be a new experience. It may be an experience of exquisite pain, deep fear and terror, an utterly terrible experience, yet it brings into awareness new dimensions of self/ new beauty, new power for human compassion, and a reverence for the precious nature of each breathing moment.”
Building on this ultimate challenge, Moustakas distinguishes between what he identifies as existential loneliness (which is inherent in all human existence and loneliness anxiety (which is artificially generated in contemporary society. According to Moustakas (1961, p. 24):
“Loneliness anxiety results from a fundamental breach between what one is and what one pretends to be, a basic alienation between man and man and between man and his nature.
Insidious fears of loneliness exist everywhere, nourished and fed by a sense of values and standards, by a way of life, which centers on acquisition and control. The emphasis on conformity, following directions, imitation, being like. others, striving for power and status, increasingly alienates man from himself. The search for safety, order, and lack of anxiety through prediction and mastery eventually arouses inward feelings of despair and fears of loneliness. Unable to experience life in a genuine way, unable to relate authentically to his own nature and to other selves, the individual in Western culture often suffers from a dread of nothingness.”
