It was indeed an irony and a point of significant insight to find that Lincoln somehow got a grasp on reality by listening to the diverse realities of his cabinet members, his battlefield commanders, and other civilians with whom he interacted. Somehow, he gathered these different renderings together and found his way to a viable “truth.” I reiterate a point made by Ken and Mary Gergen (2004) in my second essay in this series (Bergquist, 2023b). They describe how multiple versions of reality can be gathered together in a way that leads to a valid and useful version of reality. For the Gergen’s truth is found within collaborative communities and specifically within communities that are filled with trusting relationships and sustained, meaningful and respectful dialogue—such as that which was built by Abraham Lincoln among those who were initially his rivals.
Perhaps this is the most important lesson to be taught us by President Lincoln: it is in a collaborative environment of respect and trust that we find the opportunity to learn from those who see a different reality. The world can present itself to us in many different ways – especially in an environment filled with the anxiety of conflict. We do best by taking in these many different versions of reality and constructing a reality for our self that seems honest and “truthful.” This might be the best that we can do—and it might enable us to be the best we can be in a world (such as Lincoln confronted) that is swirling with volatility, uncertainty, complexity, ambiguity, turbulence and contradiction (VUCA-Plus).
Carol Gilligan: What Did She Teach Us?
While the physical distance between men and women living in the same household are not as great as John Gray (2012) rhetorically identified as living on Venus and Mars, there are significant differences in the perspectives of many men and women – it is as if they are viewing their everyday life from two planets. While men and women living in the same community do not speak different languages as is the case with those living in Asia and those living in North America, the words being conveyed by men and women can retain quite different meaning or result in quite different actions even if they live next door to one another. As Carol Gilligan has “taught” us, there are some major differences in the way many women and men view situations that require moral judgements and subsequent actions. The epistemological gap can be wide even if the physical distance is narrow.
The Chalice
For Carol Gilligan (2023, the primary gap-producing agent is patriarchal power. The dynamic of up and own might dictate the dynamic of near and far. Men and women might be living on Mars and Venice because masculine power (Eisler’s sword) has assigned them to two different planets. This might be the second (and perhaps most important) lesson that Carol Gilligan has taught us. As we have found with Abraham Lincoln and his cabinet of rivals, the retention (and even nourishing) of a relationship midst differences might require that there is a “level playing field” where all voices are heard and respected regardless of social or economic status.
A chalice rather than a sword brings people together in a successful manner who hold quite different viewpoints. It is the chalice that provides support and an environment that “holds” the anxiety which inevitably is generated when diverse perspective and practices are brought forth in a meeting. It is chalice-based leadership that produces conditions for the transformation of anxiety into constructive and creative energy. It is a chalice-based spirit of collaboration that enables diversity to produce creative solutions to elusive issues that exist in a VUCA-Plus environment.
