Home Organizational Psychology Intervention / Consulting The Wonder of Interpersonal Relationships VIe: Strategies for Sustaining Relationships Midst Differences

The Wonder of Interpersonal Relationships VIe: Strategies for Sustaining Relationships Midst Differences

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This is where “the rubber hits the road.” Both parties are encouraged (even forced) to trace out the implications of what they believe to be “reality.” It is at this point that two parties often come to a recognition that a broader, more diverse, view of the current situation is needed if real progress is to be made. While a “breakthrough” can occur at any of the seven levels – this seventh level is often the one that creates the condition for formulation of an integrated, “practical” viewpoint regarding the current situation in which both parties find themselves.

A coach and their two clients can reverse the levels of analysis during subsequent sessions of reflective inquiry,. They can begin with Level Seven in reviewing how the information is actually being used (or has been used). Post-action review questions are already associated with this level: “What did you do?” and “What occurred when you took action based on your information [what were the consequences]?” “What seemed to be accurate and useful about the information and what was less accurate and/or less useful. What worked, what didn’t work, in your view?”

They then return to Level Six and a focus on Beliefs. In encouraging the two clients to reflect at this level the coach now ask: “What does the way in which this action went (successful or unsuccessful) tell each of you about the world and about you in this world?” The Fifth Level is now concerned with how our clients reached Conclusions with regard to the world they engage. A coach accesses this level when asking: “What have you learned from this reflective process—and what have you learned from your divergent colleague?”

At the Fourth Level, a coach now encourages her clients to reexamine the Assumptions being made by each of them (based on the Conclusions reached). One of the questions that might be asked by the coach encourages their clients to enter the Domain of Information: “How do each of you know you are accurate in your assessment of this action and its actual or potential impact?” Another question encourages the clients to move into the Domain of Intentions: “What was this action intended to accomplish?” Yet another question encourages movement into the Domain of Ideas: “Why do each of you think this was the appropriate action to take?”

From here a coach and clients can move back to the Third Level, which is concerned with the Meanings that a client assigns to the specific Assumption or set of Assumptions they have made that led ultimately to their Beliefs regarding outcomes and the Actions taken (and more immediately to the Conclusions reached). Relevant questions include: “How does an important issue in your life relate to the action each of you took?” and “What are both of you discovering/learning about the resolution of this important issue by virtue of the specific action path you took?”

The coach is now ready to assist her clients in moving back to the first two levels. At Level Two, the clients revisit the Data that has been collected—now with greater clarity regarding the lens through which each of them is gathering (and interpreting) this data. The coach will ask each of their clients such questions as: “What do you now think are the most important facts to know about the situation you confronted?” “About what facts are you most confident and about what are you now less certain?”

The reflective coach is not so much challenging the validity of her two client’s data as encouraging her clients to revisit their data analysis—and realize that there are other interpretations that might be entertained and other perspectives that might be taken when viewing the current situation. These alternative interpretations and perspective may, in turn, have led, eventually, to different decisions and a different course of action.

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