Finally, at Level One, the coach encourages her clients to reconsider the Observation they initially made. The coach now asks: “Tell me what you now think happened?” The reflective coach encourages her clients to construct a new narrative, based on their journey up and down the levels of analysis. In many cases, the two clients will now become better leaders, problem-solvers and collaborators with people who hold differing perspectives.
Domain of Intentions
What if the difference of viewpoint resides in the domain of intention? What if there is disagreement regarding goals, values, purposes, or desired outcomes? We are now dealing with the heart rather than the head. People have considerably invested in what they value most and are not easily persuaded to abandon that which they place as a high priority in their life and work. Given this investment, how might one best deal with differences in intentions—whether being one of the two parties to this difference or someone seeking to facilitate some reproachment regarding this significant difference.
Higher order mission
The most often suggested strategy for addressing the difference relates to finding a higher-order intention which both parties believe to be important. What is the greater good? What is it that underlies both of our reasons for focusing on this issue? We saw this strategy in operation when examining Abraham Lincoln’s team of rivals (Bergquist, 2023b). There were major disagreements among Lincoln’s cabinet members with regard to what they most valued (including their own election to the American presidency). Yet, Lincoln was able to bring them together around a shared goal: winning the war. We might also point to Carol Gilligan and Lawrence Kohlberg (Bergquist, 2023c). They shared an interest in the study of moral reasoning and a goal in better understanding the ways in which this reasoning changes over time.
At a deeper and historical level, we can point to the many theological traditions that call on people to find a common purpose—under transcendent guidance. The Greek term, Agape, points to a form of love that is based on a shared commitment to some higher power or principle. Similarly, we find in Martin Buber’s (2000) concept of I-Thou (rather than I-It) a higher-order spiritual devotion. In many religious traditions, we find that our love for other people is based on the recognition that we are all creations of some divine entity. We might apply this same perspective to the secular matter of dealing with differences in intentions: “we might disagree about xyz but do live in the same community/nation/world and share a deep commitment to the sustained welfare of this community/nation/world. Perhaps we can work from this shared commitment.”
