The stage is now set for the emergence of a narcissistic self (Kruger, 1986, p. 25):
“An individual with pathological narcissism characteristically experiences a sense of emptiness, lack of initiative, diffuse sensitivity, and vulnerability to others. Self-reparative efforts may be channeled into intense ambitiousness and grandiose fantasies to overcome feelings of inferiority and overdependence on the admiration and acclaim of others. The narcissistic personality is motivated not primarily by guilt, but by embarrassment and shame. While guilt is a prominent affect in disturbances of object relations, shame is an affect central to disturbances in the sense of self.”
I would suggest that the keyword here is “shame.” We know that this “disturbance in the sense of self” feels literally like being stabbed with a knife. Engaging his Marxist perspective, Otto Fenichel would likely come in at this point and propose that shame is particularly prevalent when the Narcissist is living in an alienating setting: they are being repeatedly stabbed by many different people and circumstances. For the Narcissist, the stabbing must feel particularly deep and painful.
Furthermore, we are likely to find that shame is often associated with both financial loss and financial regret. Behavioral economists have shown us that regret is an even stronger motivator than fear of loss (and I have devoted a companion essay to these two motivators); this would suggest that we feel shame and regret when failing to take advantage of a financial opportunity or when not doing an effective job of managing the financial opportunities upon which we do act. Given an intensive fear of shame and regret among narcissists, any sense of morality or concern for the welfare of other people is likely to be set aside by these self-serving people when pursuing an opportunity.
This ruthless self-serving based on vulnerable self-esteem and fear of shame is identified by Kruger (1986, p. 25):
“The internal modulation of esteem is difficult for the narcissistic individual. Other people are seen as sources and regulators of esteem, worth, and happiness. Vulnerability is ever-present because the external validators of esteem are not under one’s personal control and the internal validation mechanisms are dysfunctional.
With a faulty self-esteem, one must look continually to others and to the environment for confirmation and valuation. When others or the environment fail to reflect the longed-for affirmation and empathy, self esteem may decline precipitously into devaluation, self-criticism, and depression. One may then attempt to assert absolute control of others and the environment and become harshly and unrealistically demanding of oneself.”
